Yesterday in the hospital I said goodbye to Emmy and to Sander, my roommates. Emmy is also from Eemnes and wanted to keep in touch. She is in her mid-seventies and has an amputated leg with a prothesis. She is a funny lady, talkative and straightforward. But now she has to learn to walk again.
Sander came in two days ago, but he’s one big smile. He is a young guy, maybe 35 or a bit older. But he suffers a great deal. He can hardly walk, and he cannot sit for more than 5 minutes because of the pain in his back. He was going through chemo for metastases in the liver (colon cancer) when something went wrong with the chemo – it was missing the antinausea medication. So he was sick for days, lost 20 kilos, and then he got an extreme pain in his back. He has a young wife and two little children. It was terrible to see someone in so much pain. When I said goodbye, he grabbed my hand and held it tight. He said he knew when he saw me that I would understand. I left both Emmy and Sander a letter with my contactinformation. Sander’s parents live two streets away from us.
Yesterday Victor took me home around 11. I had trouble talking. It was a beautiful day and I was so glad to be out of the hospital. Once we got home, I greeted Flo who hardly seemed to miss me. It’s so nice to be home again. I relaxed on my couch and later we watched two movies.
Last night I slept really well. Today it rained and I didn’t feel like getting out of bed. But once out, I took a nice shower. So much better than the showers in the hospital, which were a bit out of date, and the showerhead is placed close fo the showercurtain so that it clings to you. And its much easier to shower without being attached to an IV. To change clothes, the nurses helped me by pulling all the bags attached to my IV through my shirt sleeves.
Unfortunately my mouth still hurts and is very painful. I still can’t talk or eat. Victor and I went for a walk with Flo. I had forgotten my glasses so Victor went back and found the doctor ringing our bell. She came to me right away and asked about the pain. Since I still have a lot of pain, she prescribed a painkiller.
Victor picked up the Kalium drink from the pharmacy: its either the drink or the pills. The pills are huge and I don’t think I can swallow them. So I went for the drink, I drank 8ml of the liquid, and it felt like I was burning in hell. My throat was on fire. It was extremely painful. And I have to take this 3 times a day.
I have to drink three nutridrinks a day. I finished 2. One to go. My days are filled with taking medication, nutridrinks and doing nothing. Too bad I still can’t talk. Victor went to the pharmacy again to receive the painkillers: Zaldiar and Algix. I hope this will reduce the pain.
On monday we have an appointment at the Antonie van Leeuwenhoek Cancer Center with the specialists to discuss the options. This is really hard, but I am determined to beat this cancer!